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With Hindsight: How Marital Infidelity Affects Marriage And Why It Occurs

It can happen very innocently. At the gym you can be talking to a person of the opposite sex working out next to you about your spouse and troubles you're going through. This person is good looking and listens patiently to all your issues. You keep showing up at the fitness center at the same time week after week to work out and become friends. He or she suggests going for coffee after the workout. One thing leads to another and before you know it you are in an extramarital affair. It was not meant to happen, but it happens.

Similar to a bad moon on the rise, marital infidelity is increasing every day, with one or both spouses in around 40 percent of marriages admitting to having affairs; most are sexual, but some are only emotional. More men than women admit to committing marital infidelity at least once during their marriage. The average affair lasts about 2 years. This is one of the key reasons why 53% of all marriages in the USA end up in divorce.

These figures are amazing when it has been found that 80 percent of Americans say that marital infidelity is wrong. Hence, it is usually not approved of in the USA.

Males usually cheat for one major reason: sex. After children come along in a marriage, many men no longer have a sexual desire for their wives. They see their wives as maternal figures rather than sexually desirable. Also, they find that during marriage, the sex becomes mechanical and routine, lacking the adventure and adrenaline rush they want. In addition, an affair boosts their egos, proving they still have what it takes.

Females, on the other hand, don't usually cheat for sex, but rather for an emotional bond. Sex is secondary, however. Women often find themselves left out emotionally from their husbands. She is seen as the care giver, the cook and housekeeper, regardless of her work situation. When she meets a man that sees her as something more, that's generally when the affair begins. Surprisingly, when females initiate the affair, it normally lasts three times longer than when men initiate it.

When infidelity in marriage occurs, it is a signal there are problems within the marriage. People change, but sometimes spouses do not change at the same rate. Often, one spouse will develop dependence on their spouse, not being open to having a life of their own and it'll begin to suffocate the other person.

With all of the outside factors, it is easy to lose sight of what is really going on within a relationship and before long, there are problems and neither spouse wants to take any blame. The lines of communication break down. Keeping a good marriage going is hard work and most of the people today would rather take the easy way out.

The rising availability and influence of the Net is making this situation worse with 10% of users reporting they are addicted to sex in cyberspace and other online enticements. Even though these online affairs do not involve physical contact they can still destroy marriages and relationships.

Sometimes marriages can survive marital infidelity but they're rare and the relationship between the spouses is never the same. There's constant wonder whether it'll happen again. Trust is an important part of a secure marriage and once that has been broken, often times it is irreparable. Communicating with your partner may resolve many of the problems before they get out of control. Marriage is a commitment and most people today do not seem ready for that.

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